Created by our ever so brilliant,
Created by our ever so brilliant,
At the edge of the woods,
At the end of my pathway, Across that green terrain where children play
There’s a dark alleyway that leads to my wolf’s lair
You should always be cautious when walking pass, you never know what might come leering out from the shadows and bite you in the back.
It was there in that empty space,
that he first laid his big, blue eyes on me
I didn’t have to try to win his attention,
I wasn’t aware that I was stepping into a wolf’s trap until it was too late
In every room, he searches for another prey and I was just his type of bite
I never stood a chance, He had me under his thumb from first glance.
I saw what big eyes he had, what big teeth he had, I’m good at figuring people out.
And I’ve heard the rumours of all of the girls he devoured.
But I’m no good at knowing what’s good for me
and so I ignored all of the warning signs
and I let him rest his head in my lap.
Poured him tea, kept him fed, and ran my fingers through his hair.
I mistook a wolf for a lover, it’s an easy mistake to make, he looked so innocent with his eyes closed.
Little Red, I think I understand now why you got into bed with the wolf
and so many other foolish and fevered girls before me,
have done the same.
It’s an easy mistake to make,
I mistook my wolf for a puppy dog, stroked, petted and played with him.
Don’t feel bad,
Of course, no wolf ever lets you know that he is a wolf until it is too late,
until he has devoured you whole.
And so I followed my wolf lover into his den,
I never knew that there was an animal in me, withal
Until I sunk my teeth into him
Burrowed my way into that warm, comforting place in between his sheets
And clung to his skin every night, all night.
He had me right where he wanted me
We hid in hibernation from the world,
Skipping class and sleeping through all of our days
I got no work done, he took up all of the space in my head
I just watched the sky turn from blue, to grey, to black, through his bedroom curtain
I just watched my heart turn from blue, to grey, to black.
He led me deep into his woods
I forgot that I existed
So there, I lost myself.
In that dark, tangled, thorny place where desire lives
I couldn’t find my way out.
Holes ripped into my tights, scraps of red from my coat
Got caught up between limb and branch, murder clues
There are still some many little forgotten remnants of me that live there
Earrings, and rings, and necklaces and hair clips, an ashtray and my broken nails.
Breath of the wolf in my ear, was the only sound that I ever wanted to hear
It sounded like a love poem to me
But there was a starved animal deep within the cold heart of my first love
and I am so sacrificial when it comes to this
So naturally, I let him devour the softest parts of me
Flesh, blood and bone,
He took them all
I gave and gave to him the meat from my bones
Until there was nothing left of me for him to feast on.
Maybe, I am naïve
Because I ignored all of the red flags and I can’t tell the difference between love, lust, obsession or Stockholm syndrome.
My captive wasn’t intentional, was it?
I played a part, I followed the wolf into his lair.
I had free will. I could have left him if I had the strength or the self – preservation.
Was I victim or was I prey? Is there a difference?
No matter how much I’d give of myself it was never enough to satisfy his hunger.
I let him into my sanctuary and under my skin,
I let him take the air out of my lungs to keep me quite and tie ribbons around my wrists to hold me down.
He buttered me up, took a bite out of me and disposed of me, I felt weak and small and helpless under his touch.
So now, I pour salt around my house and around my heart
I keep a bible by my bedside table
I lay silver bullets, too
Just to keep him out.
But my heart is lenient,
I won’t take my axe to his throat, fill him with stones and stitch him up,
like you did, Little Red
I’ll just sing my songs to myself, write my poems
and weave my own fairy tales
cut flowers for myself, all alone,
until I find my way out of the forest and back to myself.
Photo credit x
Are we going to prom or to Hell?
This painting was inspired using the lyrics in this snippet of a song by Gracie Abrams on instagram. When I first listened to the song, it felt like a punch to the gut. After listening to this video on repeat, and also rewatching Heathers one too many times, this is what I came up with. This piece indulges my love for creepy romances, and is also an ode to bleeding heartbreak. Happy Halloween!
The Signs As Halloween Costumes By: Deirdre Cardona
Growing up in a household full of Halloween aficionados, I knew better than to begin planning my costume any later than July. The Cardona household took pride in drafting and workshopping the perfect identity for the spookiest night on Earth. However, with the changes that adulthood brought to my life, Time has lost objective meaning. Therefore (at the risk of becoming the black sheep of the family) I made my final decision on what I’d be for Halloween only a few days ago: a rebirth of my favorite antagonist, Odile (the Black Swan from Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake).
As the big day gets closer with each passing minute, I’m sure there are a handful of people who are caught in a costume rut. Fret not, ghouls and goblins; your answer lies among the stars.
Libra: (Sept. 23 – Oct.22):
An Air sign who secretly desires a comfortable,uncomplicated life. Libras embody balance and harmony, so pair up with a friend or S/O and become a dynamic duo! Trixie and Katya, Micheal Scott and Dwight Schrute, Wayne and Garth, Lucy and Ethel, the possibilities are endless!
Scorpio: (Oct.23-Nov. 21):
Scorpios are triumphant water signs who’s resilience helps them in the endeavor to survive against all opposition. A walking mystery. Scorpio would embody a detective: think any character in Woody Allen’s Curse of the Jade Scorpion or an outlaw like Christopher Moltisanti.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22- Dec. 21): Fiery and adventurous, people born in Sagittarius just want to live the good life. The symbol is an archer, so for Halloween go for something courageous, think Robin Hood or Indiana Jones!
Capricorn: (Dec. 22- Jan. 19): Capricorns are drenched in regality. For Halloween go as a king or queen, or hell, get a group and go as Queen themselves! Rock and Roll royalty is the way to go!
Aquarius: (Jan 20- Feb 18): Air sign Aquarians just want to understand life’s mysteries whether Cosmic or Earthly. Costumes like David Bowie circa the Aladdin Sane-era, an alien, or even the entire universe could appeal to the far-out sensibilities of Aquarians.
Pisces: (Feb 19- March 20): Water sign Pisces is the symbol of The Fish.
Think of high energy costumes, a bioluminescent mermaid for one, would be pretty cool. Go as your wildest fantasy.
Aries: (March 21- April 19) Natural born leaders, people in Aries live for
the thrill of the moment. For Halloween, embody excitement that only a fire sign could produce, superheroes, whether based on comics or real life would be ideal.
Taurus: (April 20-May 20): The planet Venus rules the Earth Sign Taurus. Get in touch with your green thumb and go as a docile forest nymph or a man-eating plant.
Gemini: (May 21- June 20): The personification of duality, Gemini’s love to dabble in a little bit of everything. For Halloween, go as your evil twin, or even better, grab a friend and go as The twins from Kubrick’s The Shining.
Cancer: (June 21- July 22): Known for being moody, Water sign cancer should embody something emotional for Halloween. I recommend serving up “just murdered my husband and got away with it but I have to pretend to be heartbroken” realness. Don’t break character.
Leo: (July 23-August 22): Ruled by the Sun himself, Leo embodies everything that a fire sign is. Go as a movie star from the 30’s like Kay Francis.
Virgo: (Aug 23- Sept. 22):
Earth sign Virgo, is arguably one of the most maternal signs of the zodiac. Go as Mother Earth herself.
Recently, I took some shots for my friend Evan for his budding hand-made clothing company called FOOD. It’s so up and coming, it isn’t even available yet. Evan’s soft tees and odds and ends feature hand sewn felt letters that spell out qualities or things to Evan. Below is my visual representation of the company.
On July 10th, 2017, at 11:59am, I will enter my 18th year on this earth.