When I was a younger teenager, I constantly longed for love of any kind. I would buy Seventeen magazine and read the monthly horoscope section to see if Gemini’s were going to be romantically lucky this month. I would watch cute, cheesy love movies and read romance novels. My number one Google search was probably “how to get a boy to like you.” All of my friends always had at least one boy to talk to, and no boy was ever interested in dating me. (At this point in my life I didn’t even know you could like boys AND girls without being ‘weird’. I live in a very conservative small town right outside of Pittsburgh.)
I didn’t fully understand why no one was interested in me until I really thought about it. I never interacted with people at school, and never would I DARE leave my house to meet people outside of my school. Around freshman year of high school, I recognized I was a loner, but I was very okay with it. I loved being alone and, though I rarely am anymore, I still love it. I cherish the time I do have alone.
Spending time alone is something I believe everyone should do if they’re looking to make a change in their life, whether that is manifesting meaningful relationships or simply just changing the way they think. Being alone is what you were given, and is what you can use; your best work comes out of being lonely and thinking all of the time. When relationships are meant to be in your life, it will happen; there is no need for force.
If you are not sure how to effectively spend your time alone, here are some ideas:
1. Journal. Letting your thoughts out in a safe place where there is no judgement is very helpful. Talking to people is okay, too, but if you feel uncomfortable being very vulnerable, journaling is a good solution. It is also amazing to have something physical to go back and look at how you were feeling at a specific point in your life.
2. Learn something that interests you. Read a book or watch a documentary about a specific topic you’ve always wanted to know more about.
3. Meditate. Ground yourself. Connect with your inner being and feel at 100% peace. Meditating helps clear so much negative energy and clear your mind.
4. Go places alone that would make you feel a little uncomfortable. Go to a restaurant and eat a meal. Go to a park and take a walk or read. Just do things you normally wouldn’t do alone to cultivate a relationship with yourself in the real world.
When you do these things and learn how to enjoy being alone, you will slowly form a relationship with yourself you never knew was possible to have. Life is so much easier when you enjoy your own company. This is a very hard process, but if you REALLY want change, I PROMISE you can do these things. I believe in you and I am already proud of what you are going to accomplish.