At the edge of the woods,
At the end of my pathway, Across that green terrain where children play
There’s a dark alleyway that leads to my wolf’s lair
You should always be cautious when walking pass, you never know what might come leering out from the shadows and bite you in the back.
It was there in that empty space,
that he first laid his big, blue eyes on me
I didn’t have to try to win his attention,
I wasn’t aware that I was stepping into a wolf’s trap until it was too late
In every room, he searches for another prey and I was just his type of bite
I never stood a chance, He had me under his thumb from first glance.
I saw what big eyes he had, what big teeth he had, I’m good at figuring people out.
And I’ve heard the rumours of all of the girls he devoured.
But I’m no good at knowing what’s good for me
and so I ignored all of the warning signs
and I let him rest his head in my lap.
Poured him tea, kept him fed, and ran my fingers through his hair.
I mistook a wolf for a lover, it’s an easy mistake to make, he looked so innocent with his eyes closed.
Little Red, I think I understand now why you got into bed with the wolf
and so many other foolish and fevered girls before me,
have done the same.
It’s an easy mistake to make,
I mistook my wolf for a puppy dog, stroked, petted and played with him.
Don’t feel bad,
Of course, no wolf ever lets you know that he is a wolf until it is too late,
until he has devoured you whole.
And so I followed my wolf lover into his den,
I never knew that there was an animal in me, withal
Until I sunk my teeth into him
Burrowed my way into that warm, comforting place in between his sheets
And clung to his skin every night, all night.
He had me right where he wanted me
We hid in hibernation from the world,
Skipping class and sleeping through all of our days
I got no work done, he took up all of the space in my head
I just watched the sky turn from blue, to grey, to black, through his bedroom curtain
I just watched my heart turn from blue, to grey, to black.
He led me deep into his woods
I forgot that I existed
So there, I lost myself.
In that dark, tangled, thorny place where desire lives
I couldn’t find my way out.
Holes ripped into my tights, scraps of red from my coat
Got caught up between limb and branch, murder clues
There are still some many little forgotten remnants of me that live there
Earrings, and rings, and necklaces and hair clips, an ashtray and my broken nails.
Breath of the wolf in my ear, was the only sound that I ever wanted to hear
It sounded like a love poem to me
But there was a starved animal deep within the cold heart of my first love
and I am so sacrificial when it comes to this
So naturally, I let him devour the softest parts of me
Flesh, blood and bone,
He took them all
I gave and gave to him the meat from my bones
Until there was nothing left of me for him to feast on.
Maybe, I am naïve
Because I ignored all of the red flags and I can’t tell the difference between love, lust, obsession or Stockholm syndrome.
My captive wasn’t intentional, was it?
I played a part, I followed the wolf into his lair.
I had free will. I could have left him if I had the strength or the self – preservation.
Was I victim or was I prey? Is there a difference?
No matter how much I’d give of myself it was never enough to satisfy his hunger.
I let him into my sanctuary and under my skin,
I let him take the air out of my lungs to keep me quite and tie ribbons around my wrists to hold me down.
He buttered me up, took a bite out of me and disposed of me, I felt weak and small and helpless under his touch.
So now, I pour salt around my house and around my heart
I keep a bible by my bedside table
I lay silver bullets, too
Just to keep him out.
But my heart is lenient,
I won’t take my axe to his throat, fill him with stones and stitch him up,
like you did, Little Red
I’ll just sing my songs to myself, write my poems
and weave my own fairy tales
cut flowers for myself, all alone,
until I find my way out of the forest and back to myself.
Photo credit x