it was a nice day for november. the cool breeze was gentle and soothing, unlike the usual harsh, bitter winter wind that stings your skin like pine needles.
this is the day i received the unsettling news that you wanted to leave me and everyone else around you.
my heart was demolished, i couldn’t make sense of anything at all. everything around me moved in slow motion like some stupid fucking romantic drama. i wanted so desperately to make you feel what i felt on that dreaded, november afternoon. the pain, the pain was so absolute my heart physically ached. i hated you for that.
weeks later, the loneliness settles over me like a suffocating smog. it fills my lungs and makes it hard for me to breathe. my heart throbs and my mind spins as the sadness invades my senses. it’s all I can feel, think of, and see. all I can do is lie in bed, hoping, praying that it will pass soon.
a few months later, i still feel like i’m suffocating, but the weight is slowly lifting. now when i talk to you, the feeling of longing is still present, but not as strong as it was previously.
dizzying, visions of flashes of zooming through a tunnel, the white flashes making me dizzy. images of you race through my mind, your laugh echoes in the hollowness of my broken heart.
i wake up. the first thing i notice is the light flooding into the room through the worn curtains. it’s warmness caresses me. i am alone, but i can breathe.
i know i will be just fine without you.