Fashions advice has never been my specialty, but I find that according to people I’ve helped, I give rather good relationship advice.
Toxic people aren’t good for you, that’s why they’re called “toxic”. The definition of “toxic” is simply “poisonous”, which stems on to mean “causing or capable of causing death or illness if taken into the body”. Toxic people get into your head and make you sick, and sometimes kill your mind.
In my not so recent encounters with boyfriends I’ve only had one truly toxic relationship, and for name’s sake we will call him “F” for “Fake” (because he put up a facade and I was the only ex that saw past it). F tried pressuring me into doing things I didn’t necessarily want to do, and he tried to make me quit activities that I loved. I can tell you exactly what I did; I dumped F. F was toxic, he was getting into my head and trying to kill my aspirations but I didn’t let that happen.
Toxic people ARE NOT (I repeat ARE NOT) good for you (obviously, it’s in the phrase?). This is me being very blunt and straight forward but I will say this over and over again, but cut them off. If you cut them off their toxicity will not get to you. You might be asking, “What happens if I let them get to me?” Let me tell you what happens.
First, you become worried what they think about you. You start asking yourself, “does my hair look okay? are my teeth white enough for their liking?” and other things like, “is my makeup too heavy for them?” and “will they like what I’m wearing today?” You become so caught up in what they want, that you forget to ask yourself what you want.
Second, you will start hanging out with them more and leaving the people that really care about you behind. When you let a toxic person control you, it’s like doing drugs. Your judgement gets clouded-too clouded- and you keep going back to them over, and over, and over again, despite the fact that they aren’t good for you.
Third, you will not be happy. The toxic person will completely take over your life. They could say “oh, I don’t really like Lucas,” and suddenly, you never talk to Lucas again just because toxic person said they didn’t like them. Even though Lucas is (was) your best friend and made you happy, toxic person took that away. You could be a part of a sport, or have a job that you love and enjoy, but if toxic person would say “you shouldn’t do that, I don’t like it,” you would quit everything they asked you to.
Fourth, and finally, you will stop thinking for yourself. Toxic person will occupy all your thoughts, and you’ll ask them for permission or approval before you do anything. No one else matters except for this toxic person who is slowly killing you.
Toxic people aren’t good, in fact, you might even call them toxic. What a wild concept, right? If you wouldn’t eat a cactus then why would you poison your mind and soul with something even more painful? Cutting someone off is so much easier than trying to change them or you to fit the other’s standards. If you aren’t pleasing that person by just being you, you need a different person. It might be your best friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, cousin, or classmate, but you at least know of someone that is toxic.
As a strong minded person, I don’t know what it’s like to be under the pressure of constantly wanting to fit in because I do whatever I want (within reason, of course). I do know it’s not as simple as “just get over it.” If you are surrounded by toxic people, you will inevitably become a toxic person.
The illness and death of the mind is a result of this toxin. I know someone who was with a toxic person for a long time, and since they ended, all this person does is apologize for every little thing. Why do they feel the need to apologize? Because their toxic person broke their mind, killed it even.
Toxic people need to be removed from your life forever. If you aren’t afraid of toxic people, you should be. As a strong minded person, despite the capability of being able to handle toxicity, toxic people are my biggest fear. Why? Because what happens if one gets through my wall? What happens if someone gets into my head without me noticing until it’s too late? I’m afraid of the unpredictability that comes with the toxicity, and you should be too. It’s quite scary, knowing that one person could have the power to destroy you whole world, to kill your mind.
In short, toxic people are bad. Even if you think you aren’t, we are all strong minded people, at least, we have the capability to be. Using our capable strong minds we should be able to figure out who the Fs are and who the un-named apologizers are. Don’t be an F and don’t be an apologizer, be a strong minded, independently capable, (I really enjoy using the word “capable”, if you couldn’t tell,) person and throw all the toxic people in the biohazard bin because there is nothing below their toxicity.