After three emotionally draining days of being trapped by my own negative energy, I decided to cleanse myself from the toxicity steeping in my bedroom.
My closet was full of painful memories and clothes that masked my insecurities. I scooped it up along with the self doubt hidden in corners and stuffed it in trash bags—7 to be exact. Windows that kept me hidden from the world, finally let holy rays of sunlight in. I imaged my worst demons turning into dust as the sun pierced and charred them from the inside out. After about three hours, I managed to cleanse the energy in my room, sealing it with incense and a few candles. I no longer felt like I was being held down by an unknown presence. Each bag of clothes, shoes, and accessories was dragged to the door to be set aside for donation. I probably walked a couple of miles as a result of all of the trips to and from my room.
Hell-bent on purging from my own poison, I rummaged through kitchen cabinets until I found a glass cup resembling a chalice. I liked to think that an attempt at authenticity would make the process more effective—plus the glass added a bit of class. It glimmered under the kitchen lights and I saw hope in my reflection. I felt like I was holding energy in it’s purest form. With kitchen scissors in hand, I made my way outside, and searched for flower petals. Paper thin and highly pigmented, my heart led me to bright pink bougainvillea’s. I cut enough to fill the glass about a quarter of the way full, and made my way inside to pick the petals. After about 30 petals, came a few drizzles of almond oil, baby cologne, and lavender perfume. The pink of the petals began to bleed into the oil and cologne, making a light tint. I brought this with me to the bathroom, set the water as hot as I could tolerate and began to bathe. I scrubbed the sadness away while all the dirt and unhealthy energy swirled down the drain until my skin was left glowing pink. It was a renewal unlike any I’d ever experienced before. With closed eyes, I held my consecrated concoction to the heavens and imagined a white light bathing over me as I poured the pink solution over my naked body. Paper thin petals wound their way into my hair. At a glance, I resembled the Birth of Venus. The last of my worries mixed with the water—which was now a cloudy pink—at my feet. At that moment I was something larger than life. I felt goddamn euphoric. I was a direct vessel to the universe, to each and every divine entity in existence, to the moon, sun, and stars, and to every form of life on this planet. I was free.