Word Vomit: I Lost You

‘hey. i hope you’re well. i really mis-‘ delete.

‘it’s only been a week i know but your smell is still on my cloth-‘ delete. 

‘i’m sorry. i’m sorry even though, really, this wasn’t my fault. but i miss you.’ sent- regret.

i’ll sit and wait and stare at the blinking screen so long my vision begans to blur. i’ll let my tears turn from angry sobs to pent up, heartbroken cries of a broken faucet behind my eyes that just won’t turn off. 

do you remember our first kiss? the way you smiled at me with half a joint between your lips, smoke in your squinty blue eyes, the way your hand grazed from my ear down to my collar bone before resting smoothly against my beating chest? do you remember how your lips aligned with mine as if God above had perfectly orchestrated our kiss to match the chaotic symphony soundtrack of our lives? the heat of my body pressing against yours in frustration, wanting more but not being confident enough to tell you? 

i’ll sit here staring at my phones blank screen and wonder if you remember things as vividly and intimately as i do. we were in love once, weren’t we?

my phone pings with a noise so achingly loud my entire body jumps, and… 

‘i’m sorry, but-” delete.

by Reagan Fechtera

art cover by Nina

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