I’m Okay With Being Alone

When I was a younger teenager, I constantly longed for love of any kind. I would buy Seventeen magazine and read the monthly horoscope section to see if Gemini’s were going to be romantically lucky this month. I would watch cute, cheesy love movies and read romance novels. My number one Google search was probably “how to get a boy to like you.” All of my friends always had at least one boy to talk to, and no boy was ever interested in dating me. (At this point in my life I didn’t even know you could like boys AND girls without being ‘weird’. I live in a very conservative small town right outside of Pittsburgh.)
I didn’t fully understand why no one was interested in me until I really thought about it. I never interacted with people at school, and never would I DARE leave my house to meet people outside of my school. Around freshman year of high school, I recognized I was a loner, but I was very okay with it. I loved being alone and, though I rarely am anymore, I still love it. I cherish the time I do have alone.
Spending time alone is something I believe everyone should do if they’re looking to make a change in their life, whether that is manifesting meaningful relationships or simply just changing the way they think. Being alone is what you were given, and is what you can use; your best work comes out of being lonely and thinking all of the time. When relationships are meant to be in your life, it will happen; there is no need for force.
If you are not sure how to effectively spend your time alone, here are some ideas:
1. Journal. Letting your thoughts out in a safe place where there is no judgement is very helpful. Talking to people is okay, too, but if you feel uncomfortable being very vulnerable, journaling is a good solution. It is also amazing to have something physical to go back and look at how you were feeling at a specific point in your life.
2. Learn something that interests you. Read a book or watch a documentary about a specific topic you’ve always wanted to know more about.
3. Meditate. Ground yourself. Connect with your inner being and feel at 100% peace. Meditating helps clear so much negative energy and clear your mind.
4. Go places alone that would make you feel a little uncomfortable. Go to a restaurant and eat a meal. Go to a park and take a walk or read. Just do things you normally wouldn’t do alone to cultivate a relationship with yourself in the real world.
When you do these things and learn how to enjoy being alone, you will slowly form a relationship with yourself you never knew was possible to have. Life is so much easier when you enjoy your own company. This is a very hard process, but if you REALLY want change, I PROMISE you can do these things. I believe in you and I am already proud of what you are going to accomplish.
With love,

Little Red

Little Red

At the edge of the woods,

At the end of my pathway, Across that green terrain where children play

There’s a dark alleyway that leads to my wolf’s lair

You should always be cautious when walking pass, you never know what might come leering out from the shadows and bite you in the back.

It was there in that empty space,

that he first laid his big, blue eyes on me

I didn’t have to try to win his attention,

I wasn’t aware that I was stepping into a wolf’s trap until it was too late

In every room, he searches for another prey and I was just his type of bite

I never stood a chance, He had me under his thumb from first glance.

I saw what big eyes he had, what big teeth he had, I’m good at figuring people out.

And I’ve heard the rumours of all of the girls he devoured.

But I’m no good at knowing what’s good for me

and so I ignored all of the warning signs

and I let him rest his head in my lap.

Poured him tea, kept him fed, and ran my fingers through his hair.

I mistook a wolf for a lover, it’s an easy mistake to make, he looked so innocent with his eyes closed.

Little Red, I think I understand now why you got into bed with the wolf

because I,

and so many other foolish and fevered girls before me,

have done the same.

It’s an easy mistake to make,

I mistook my wolf for a puppy dog, stroked, petted and played with him.

Don’t feel bad,

Of course, no wolf ever lets you know that he is a wolf until it is too late,

until he has devoured you whole.

And so I followed my wolf lover into his den,

I never knew that there was an animal in me, withal

Until I sunk my teeth into him

Burrowed my way into that warm, comforting place in between his sheets

And clung to his skin every night, all night.

He had me right where he wanted me

We hid in hibernation from the world,

Skipping class and sleeping through all of our days

I got no work done, he took up all of the space in my head

I just watched the sky turn from blue, to grey, to black, through his bedroom curtain

I just watched my heart turn from blue, to grey, to black.

He led me deep into his woods

I forgot that I existed

So there, I lost myself.

In that dark, tangled, thorny place where desire lives

I couldn’t find my way out.

Holes ripped into my tights, scraps of red from my coat

Got caught up between limb and branch, murder clues

There are still some many little forgotten remnants of me that live there

Earrings, and rings, and necklaces and hair clips, an ashtray and my broken nails.

Breath of the wolf in my ear, was the only sound that I ever wanted to hear

It sounded like a love poem to me

But there was a starved animal deep within the cold heart of my first love

and I am so sacrificial when it comes to this

So naturally, I let him devour the softest parts of me

Flesh, blood and bone,

He took them all

I gave and gave to him the meat from my bones

Until there was nothing left of me for him to feast on.

Maybe, I am naïve

Because I ignored all of the red flags and I can’t tell the difference between love, lust, obsession or Stockholm syndrome.

My captive wasn’t intentional, was it?

I played a part, I followed the wolf into his lair.

I had free will. I could have left him if I had the strength or the self – preservation.

Was I victim or was I prey? Is there a difference?

No matter how much I’d give of myself it was never enough to satisfy his hunger.

I let him into my sanctuary and under my skin,

I let him take the air out of my lungs to keep me quite and tie ribbons around my wrists to hold me down.

He buttered me up, took a bite out of me and disposed of me, I felt weak and small and helpless under his touch.

So now, I pour salt around my house and around my heart

I keep a bible by my bedside table

I lay silver bullets, too

Just to keep him out.

But my heart is lenient,

I won’t take my axe to his throat, fill him with stones and stitch him up,

like you did, Little Red

I’ll just sing my songs to myself, write my poems

and weave my own fairy tales

cut flowers for myself, all alone,

until I find my way out of the forest and back to myself.

By Kerrie

Photo credit x

Essential Oil 101

Essential oils and botanicals have been used for as long as 5,000 years in many countries to aid people in need, whether it be a sickness or to center yourself for the day there are tons of ways to use them especially to balance out your new year!

!!A disclaimer for your fury friends!!

Always make sure to keep your pets in mind when using essential oils in and around the house! Some animals (especially dogs and cats) cannot handle high levels of a compound called Phenol that is found in many oils. Long exposure of this chemical to their lungs could cause heart, lung, and liver problems. Make sure you do not keep your pet exposed to strong oils for a prolonged amount of time and always dilute your oils with water.

*Also make sure that before you use any essential oil, check to see if it can be used for topical and external use!*

Ylang Ylang: hair repair, aids stress

Tea Tree: infection, respiratory

Sage: helps fever, joint pain, appetite stimulant

Rosemary: helps dandruff, pain relief, digestion

Rose: dry skin, aids menstrual pain

Peppermint: helps stomach aches and digestive problems, sore muscles

Orange: respiratory, oily skin moisturizer

Neroli: helps stress, dry skin moisturizer

Lemongrass: muscle aches, infections, stress

Lemon: respiratory, toner, reduce scarring

Lavender: sleep, relaxation, dry skin

Frankincense: relaxing, centering, focusing

Eucalyptus: treats respiratory issues, insect repellant

Essential Oil Blends:

  • Goodnight sleep: Chamomile + lavender
  • Sore Muscle Blend: Peppermint + Eucalyptus
  • Stress blend: Sage + Lavender + Lemon
  • Get Concentrated: Rosemary + Lemon + Peppermint
  • Cramp Relief: Peppermint + Cypress + Lavender
  • Cure your Winter Blues: Ylang Ylang + Orange

This is just the start of your essential Oil journey and once you get the hang of it you can mix any oils of your choice together to create your own unique blend! Enjoy!

With love,

Cara

Cara’s Kitchen: Strawberries and Creme Puff Pastry

This is and will always be one of my absolute favorite dessert recipes of all time, plus it’s super easy and I will admit that I could easily eat a whole pan of this desert in one sitting with zero shame. Here, I’ll spill the secret on how you can do the same.

Ingredients:

  • 1 sheet of puff pastry
  • 4 oz of softened cream cheese
  • 1/4 cup powdered sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 egg
  • 1-1/2 cups of sliced strawberries (depending on your preference)

Instructions:

  1. First off preheat oven to 400.
  2. On parchment lined baking sheet cut your puff pastry into any desired shape.
  3. In a medium bowl mix together your cream cheese, powdered sugar and vanilla.
  4. Spread the cream cheese mixture over the top of your puff pastry.
  5. Beat an egg, add 1 tsp of water and brush onto sides of the puff pastry where you can see the dough, to give it a golden color while baking.
  6. Place your slices of strawberry on top of your cream cheese in rows of about 3 (again, as many strawberries as your heart desires)
  7. Bake for about 10-15 minutes or until golden.

With love,

Cara